


Didn't you know that promises are made to be broken?

by HedaKaraZorEl (HedaLexaAf)



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/F, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 16:01:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12193107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HedaLexaAf/pseuds/HedaKaraZorEl
Summary: A short story of how everything happened and fell apart in a span of nine years.





	Didn't you know that promises are made to be broken?

**Author's Note:**

> I deleted this months ago but I've decided to post it again.

 

You first saw Lexa at second grade. You two were classmates and your teacher had this strange method of arranging seats like a checkered chessboard but with boys and girls instead of black and white.

You were seated beside Jasper and, due to the uneven number of boys and girls, also beside Lexa. Murphy was the closest bet to being friends. You two were classmates back in first grade and it was always easier to stick with something already familiar. And yet you were only maybe six or seven years old and children were mostly making friends everywhere at that age.

In time, you became friends with Lexa. Lexa was weird. It was how you would describe her. Weird in a way that her friends were rowdy and noisy and in their own world while Murphy was also rowdy and noisy, it’s because he and his friends find trouble everywhere they went. They're different and yet similar.

You were close to the both of them. You shared lunches with Murphy and made little harmless bets with him because the two of you didn’t want to get the pencil that fell on the floor or something like that.

You shared jokes with Lexa even though, more often than not, you got the little less pleasant side of the teasing battles you two had. She once sang the song Frosty the Snowman in front of you and you got irritated by her and the song even though you didn’t know what the hell she was singing to you. It was all fun.

You and Lexa weren’t classmates in third grade. But at least Murphy was still there even though you two started growing apart. You found a new friend though. Murphy’s cousin, Jasper. He was a lot intense than Murphy and a bit of a fighter. You spent your friendship with Jasper in cheating on exams to flicking towels at each other. And sometimes even having fist fights with him.

You got sent one time to the principal’s office. But the fight wasn’t with Jasper but with someone else. That’s when you learned that violence is excruciatingly regretful and yet satisfying. That it was worth it to see them bleed because they did something wrong to you.

At fourth grade, nothing much happened. You went back to being this responsible student. No more fist fights. And no more friends. Just a few acquaintance here and there.

You saw Lexa again in fifth grade though. You might not be seated beside her but she was still close enough to talk to. People started having crushes and you even heard some who had boyfriends and girlfriends. And you thought, maybe you liked someone too.

At sixth grade, everything was abuzz. You were about to have this little graduation for completing six years of grade school. You were classmates with Lexa again. And you were happy to be seated close to each other.

One time, there was an exam and the person beside Lexa was gone for a few days. Your teacher told you to sit beside her. Somehow, you accidentally confessed your feelings to her and thank god she didn’t understand. At least at first. She found out eventually through her other friends what it meant.

You feared that things will get awkward with the two of you because that’s what happens when someone finds out that someone likes them like that, right? But it didn’t. You two went on like friends still. And even though your other friends tease the two of you, you two never really cared.

There was this little celebration. A ball, really. And your mother put you in a pink dress, curled your hair, and put some make-up on your face and you were good to go. Lexa looked dashing that night. In her beige suit and a fedora. You thought it was funny. And it was. But really all your mind seem to think that night was how beautiful she was.

They played your favorite song near the end of the event and you cried. You still don’t know the reason why.

The two of you chatted a lot whenever you two weren’t in school. You initiated conversations with her and she replied shortly half the time but it didn’t matter since you liked her and she still talked to you.

The night before the last day of being a sixth grader, she told you she liked you in the way that you liked her too. You were ecstatic and you were also panicking. Because why would she even like you like that?

At high school, you two were apart. Quite literally apart actually. Lexa went to an all-girls school and you remained in your previous one. The two of you still talked and she was your inspiration in almost everything you did as a freshman. You initiated conversations and she replied to you almost every day.

You got the highest grade in your batch by the end of first year high school and you couldn’t help but think: Is this what inspiration does to people?

Things got a little messy by junior year when Lexa said that she talked with your friend Niylah sometimes. And you know it might just be the little streak of jealousy within you that sparked so you shouldn’t really worry. You don’t want to be the crazy person who gets possessive over someone.

It got bad when Niylah told you that she and Lexa kissed the last time the two of them met. You were downright jealous that moment. Not because of the kiss but because Niylah got to see Lexa again after more than a year since they saw each other.

You didn’t really know what to believe. Lexa wasn’t the type to go kissing girls because she was shy as fuck and Niylah had been your closest friend for years. Lexa showed you their conversations when you asked her once and you know that she might have just deleted the messages she didn’t want you to see. And Niylah, she always had lots of relationships so none was really credible for you.

Still, you didn’t ask them further after that. You started putting distance between you and Niylah and you also told Lexa that you didn’t want to talk to her for a few months. Lexa respected your decision and didn’t bother you after that.

Christmas and New Year passed and some time by the start of January, Lexa asked if it’s alright to talk to you again. You said yes and you two started talking again like nothing happened.

This time, she initiated all your conversations and you were more than okay with that. Besides, you finally learned that time that starting conversation made you look desperate.

It slipped her that she didn’t really like you like that the last time you two talked and all the other times before that. It hurt you to know that. That you were just her “social experiment” as she so called it. But the time apart you requested made her realized that she loved you. And so you two are back again.

Junior year and senior year was kind of a bliss. You two spent a lot of time talking behind screens, fingers above keyboards or phones. You two shared your assignments and lessons and stories and helped each other the way you two could.

She promised you that she’ll send something she got from her trip to province and you were excited for it. Only for that promise not to be mentioned ever again like that conversation never happened.

You didn’t think much of it that time. It was just a small thing. Maybe she just forgot. You don’t know. You couldn’t really blame her since you, yourself, were and still are a forgetful person. But you remembered it. The first promise undelivered.

You saw Lexa again for the first time in a little more than four years when the two of you planned a meetup at a mall a day before her birthday. It was vacation and you didn’t really have money and you weren’t best at giving gifts. Yet she bought a book you wanted for you. The irony was hilarious.

By the first year of college, Lexa had your phone number and called you every chance she got for like the first month of classes. It was really nice of her to do that since you were never good at making friends and she wanted you to have a great time at college.

After a month, she lessened the phone calls saying that she had school stuff to do and she didn’t want to be in the way of you and your friends. You said that it was okay since your only friends were your dorm mates and you were practically with them 5 days a week. A few hours with Lexa won’t hurt.

There was a time that Lexa was so sick and you told her to get some rest and go to bed but she wouldn’t. It was a lot like that almost every week because apparently, her immune system sucked. But that one time, Lexa fell asleep in front of her computer and her mother saw her and your message so she replied to your unreplied message to Lexa. Lexa's mother seemed pretty chill about the two of you and you thought that's probably a kind of decent first impression.

Lexa minimized pushing herself to talk to you when sick after that night. You lightly teased her for a few days after the incident.

It was also the time when Lexa called you a lot of terms of endearment and said I love you’s quite a lot and when you feel like you do, you said it back. After all, you couldn’t deny your sun and stars the truth even though it was true for even just a moment.

By the end of first semester of the school year, you met up again with her at your own college and went to the movies with her after. You don’t even remember the movie you watched and you two walked around the mall at least three times to prolong your time with each other.

After that, you two went to movies a few more times. One time, she waited for you for three hours because your mom decided to take a long reroute somewhere on the way. The other time, your friends even accompanied the two of you to the movies because they wanted to make sure no ‘funny business’ happens.

You thought it was nice even though they sang sappy love songs behind your back and you’re pretty sure Lexa heard everything and smiled at your friends’ antics.

It was a happy time of your life that you feared its possible end. You got the courage to tell Lexa that if it ever came down to leaving the other, the least you two could do was say goodbye. It was an agreement. It was another promise.

You should've known better.

The second semester of first year college was when you knew it’s starting to fall apart. It was your phase of brutal honesty and a lot of realizations.

You said once that you loved her but you weren’t in love with her. And you told her that you needed a week off without her because everything was becoming suffocating and you got mad at her in an argument.

That week off became only three days because you couldn’t really bear the thought that she thought you hated her but you really didn’t. There were a lot of fall outs and Lexa seemed to fade away out of your life. You didn’t want that to happen.

You started initiating conversations with her again because you felt like if you didn’t, you two wouldn’t talk at all. There were times when she didn’t reply but mostly she only replied shortly. Like the conversation bored her. It hurt to see what happened to the once blossoming relationship between the two of you.

Sometime in May, while you were taking a warm shower, you just realized that you loved her. Like  _loved_  her. It was the most powerful realization you’ve had in your entire life and you couldn’t wait to finally tell Lexa that you were finally in love with her. You sent a little hello message to her that day.

A few days passed and you got no reply from her. You sent another message to her.

You were panicking and you started consulting your friends what to do. They told you to talk to her one more time when she comes online and that you did. You sent another message to her when the little circle beside her name became green. You saw that she saw your message because below your message it said that it was seen. She went offline after that.

It was the first time you felt truly heart broken. Years ago, you thought that they went overly dramatic in explaining the state of broken hearts and now you thought their words were just a scratch on the surface of what people really feel.

You told yourself that you would give her a month to reply and if she didn’t, you would cut her off completely in your life. In your social medias, your phone messages, and your phone gallery.

Lexa was gone in your life after a month.

There were no goodbye's at the end. No warnings. Just another broken promise. One of the many.

You were bitter and angry and hurt. You felt like you were betrayed by Lexa. And it didn’t help that you were still in love with her.

You heard that she now has a girlfriend. Someone named Costia from what Niylah said. You couldn’t believe Niylah and you couldn’t believe Lexa so really, there is no point in dwelling.

Sometimes you still think of Lexa. And instead of all the negative feelings you felt, you now feel this bittersweet feeling and you can’t help but think that even though it took you years to realize, you actually loved her. You still love her. And you can only hope that she’s happy right now.

 

And someday, you’ll be happy.

 

Like you were happy with her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Kudos and comments are appreciated. :)


End file.
